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Posts Tagged ‘#stress’

This is where I come to rant. I need to get this out of my system and don’t want to burden my husband with it any further. I’ve mentioned before that I sell vintage on Etsy. It’s been slow going since I’m not able to devote much time to listing items or promotion. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed Etsy and the people I’ve dealt with. My fave customers are the ones who see an item, buy it, I ship it out and never hear from them again! ūüėČ It’s always nice to hear from someone who loves something you’ve sold them. But from past experiences, I almost cringe when there’s a lot of “conversation” prior to or after selling. My hubby and I started selling on eBay back in March 1997! Hubby gets us started on these things and then I have to tow the line. We have sold tens of thousands of new collectible items on ebay up until 3 years ago when we closed our ebay store. The fees and how they treat their sellers gave us no other choice. During all those sales, we’ve run into some “doozies” where customers are concerned. I’m not going to go into those in this post but if people do want to hear it, I will sit down and write about them in the future.
To separate paragraphs, I'm putting pictures of things I'm selling on Etsy. Vintage Head Vase

To separate paragraphs, I’m putting pictures of things I have for sale on Etsy. This is a gorgeous vintage head vase.

I don’t like dwelling on unpleasant things but sometimes it’s good to get them off your chest. On Etsy, we have our selling preferences set to sell ONLY to the USA. This is due to some awful experiences we’ve had in the past. Where we under calculated postage and ended up losing money. One time someone from Canada used a fraudulent Paypal account and we had no recourse. Also the post office is even rougher going to other countries and no matter how well wrapped things were when they left us, they either were lost or didn’t make it in one piece. Ok, so you are up to speed on our reasons. We’ve still been getting all kinds of people asking if we will make an exception to ship to them in another country. Some are rude about it, some are nice. All are disappointed when I refuse to budge. A few days ago, someone sent a message through Etsy asking if we would let them buy a big eyed girl bank (from the 1960’s) and ship to Canada. They were especially polite and almost desperate. She tells me she is a famous artist who sells her work in galleries all over the world. She wants to use this bank as a muse and do a painting of it. I do what I always do when I feel torn–nothing. I was thinking it over and trying to decide how to let her down easy. Then she writes again and pleads her case some more. She’s almost begging and I’m not completely heartless so my resolve slips a little. We haven’t shipped anything to Canada for over 10 years. I don’t even know how to do it.
Flower power ice bucket.

Flower power ice bucket.

So I messaged her back and said if she gave me her mailing address, I could look it up and see if I can do the shipping from our Stamps.com account. Also I would give her a quote for shipping. So she sends it to me and I have to box up the item and can’t use a Priority Box. I go through 2 separate boxes since the first is not big enough to suit me. Others I know would mail it with it touching the sides but I won’t. I always triple bubblewrap everything fragile because I’d worry myself sick if I didn’t. The bank weighs over a lb. and it is $11.88 first class and $28.88 Priority.¬†¬†So I quote her $12.50 first class and $29.50 Priority. This isn’t even adding fees in or anything. She says she’ll take first class.
Bowl of fake eggs from Italy.

Bowl of fake eggs from Italy.

This is where I come to rant. I need to get this out of my system and don’t want to burden my husband with it any further. I’ve mentioned before that I sell vintage on Etsy. It’s been slow going since I’m not able to devote much time to listing items or promotion. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed Etsy and the people I’ve dealt with. My fave customers are the ones who see an item, buy it, I ship it out and never hear from them again! ūüėČ It’s always nice to hear from someone who loves something you’ve sold them. But from past experiences, I almost cringe when there’s a lot of “conversation” prior to or after selling. My hubby and I started selling on eBay back in March 1997! Hubby gets us started on these things and then I have to tow the line. We have sold tens of thousands of new collectible items on ebay up until 3 years ago when we closed our ebay store. The fees and how they treat their sellers gave us no other choice. During all those sales, we’ve run into some “doozies” where customers are concerned. I’m not going to go into those in this post but if people do want to hear it, I will sit down and write about them in the future.
Child's 3 piece dish set: bowl, cup and plate.

Child’s 3 piece dish set: bowl, cup and plate.

I don’t like dwelling on unpleasant things but sometimes it’s good to get them off your chest. On Etsy, we have our selling preferences set to sell ONLY to the USA. This is due to some awful experiences we’ve had in the past. Where we under calculated postage and ended up losing money. One time someone from Canada used a fraudulent Paypal account and we had no recourse. Also the post office is even rougher going to other countries and no matter how well wrapped things were when they left us, they either were lost or didn’t make it in one piece. Ok, so you are up to speed on our reasons. We’ve still been getting all kinds of people asking if we will make an exception to ship to them in another country. Some are rude about it, some are nice. All are disappointed when I refuse to budge. A few days ago, someone sent a message through Etsy asking if we would let them buy a big eyed girl bank (from the 1960’s) and ship to Canada. They were especially polite and almost desperate. She tells me she is a famous artist who sells her work in galleries all over the world. She wants to use this bank as a muse and do a painting of it. I have a soft spot for artists and it sounds cool. ¬†I do what I always do when I feel torn–nothing. I was thinking it over and trying to decide how to let her down easy. Then she writes again and pleads her case some more. She’s almost begging and I’m not completely heartless so my resolve slips. We haven’t shipped anything to Canada for over 10 years. I don’t even know how to do it.
The item in question. Big eyed bank.

The item in question. Big eyed bank.

So I messaged her back and said if she gave me her mailing address, I could look it up and see if I can do the shipping from our Stamps.com account. Also I would give her a quote for shipping. So she sends it to me and I have to box up the item and can’t use a Priority Box. I go through 2 separate boxes since the first is not big enough to suit me. Others I know would mail it with it touching the sides but I won’t. I always triple bubblewrap everything fragile because I’d worry myself sick if I didn’t. The bank weighs over a lb. and it is $11.88 first class and $28.88 Priority.¬†¬†So I quote her $12.50 first class and $29.50 Priority. This isn’t even adding fees in or anything. She says she’ll take first class.
Nautical barware utensils.

Nautical barware utensils.

I go into the Etsy site and add to the title “Reseved For Her Name” and changed the shipping to Canada with the amount. I wanted to just add Canada to the existing USA option but it just kept loading and wouldn’t work. After spending way too much time on this, I message her back and tell her it should be available for her to purchase. Then she comes back and says she was checking out and sees we don’t take Paypal. Well, we’ve NEVER had our Etsy linked to our Paypal. Etsy uses Direct Checkout and collects the money, takes their fee and deposits our sales into our bank account once a week. You couldn’t ask for anything better. Etsy accepts any type of credit card there is so you’d think this woman could just do that. Instead she is bugging me to use Paypal.
Bongos from the Bahamas.

Bongos from the Bahamas.

I spent my entire Saturday night going back and forth from my iphone to laptop (in the other room) trying to fascilitate this transaction. I was on the verge of a meltdown¬†that night and felt so stupid for not being able to figure it out. Greg did a lot of manual labor that day. He went to get the lumber to start building the pergola and was so exhausted, he was in no shape for me to bother him with this. He knew I was working on it but was just too drained to care. When I get beyond frustrated, I start crying and I was on the brink of it¬†that night. Finally, I had to message this person and tell her I couldn’t figure it out.¬†Yesterday I went back in and was able to find the area on Etsy to accept Paypal payments. Of course, then I told her and she still couldn’t do it because the actual Paypal (in Greg’s name) has foreign buyers blocked. I managed to go into Paypal and figure out how to change it but then I saw that the fees are even higher for foreign transactions than USA. Plus there’s no Seller Protection from Etsy if you take Paypal. I don’t know if Paypal would back us up either. I don’t forsee a problem with this buyer but I also can’t see turning our lives upside down for one tiny sale. I messaged this woman back again and told her that she had 2 choices if she wanted the item: she could pay with a credit card on Etsy or have a friend in the USA buy it, we’d ship it to them and they could forward it to¬†her.¬†The sad thing is I’m bending over backwards and yet she still¬†wants it HER WAY. I’d say that’s the American way but she’s Canadian…whoops.
Buick Wildcat air filter cover.

Buick Wildcat air filter cover.

Which brings me to the core of this rant. ¬†I am the type of person who never wants to bother anyone. I don’t put anyone out ever if I can help it. I don’t ask for substitutions in a restaurant. I don’t ask for anything but extra water. I never send my food back. I was brought up to “make do” and accept my lot in life and be grateful for what I do have. Not to expect anyone to cater to me or treat me differently or better than others. I was never taught that I deserved special treatment. On the contrary, to not be a bother or pest. To never ask for extra or more. To be polite and thankful for being treated decently, not even good. It’s kind of hard to explain but it’s a mindset that I think is from generations past. I hate lumping youngsters into this category but so many feel entitled to everything. I’ve written about this before but it bears repeating.
Fortune telling Cup Of Knowledge.

Fortune telling Cup Of Knowledge.

To put it into perspective, the item I’m selling¬†is $19.99 plus shipping. I’m not going to MAKE $20 on this since I didn’t get the item for free. I make nothing on shipping and Etsy fees have to come out of there too. I set his price myself, I’m not being ripped off but I priced it for an “easy transaction”. Not one that I’d have to spend HOURS¬†going back and forth conversing about how to help this woman out. Plus looking online at Etsy trying to switch preferences. It is much the same reason we don’t ship EXPRESS mail. It costs like $30 for a small package but it’s so people can get something overnight. They can’t wait until the post office delivers in their usual sometimes slow fashion. At first we would go along with this for people but WE gain nothing. We don’t charge extra. All the postage goes to the post office. It is more work for us that the person didn’t think ahead of time of what they’d want or when they’d need it. I would never ship something that way for myself. It’s annoying that people think they should take priority over others’ lives.
Milk glass hands.

Milk glass hands.

You’re probably thinking, what is she complaining about if she gets a sale out of it? Well, $20 isn’t going to change my life or matter one way or the other in the scheme of things. I know this item will sell when it gets closer to Christmas. She’s not doing me a favor by buying it.
Fat Is Beautiful sign. I have a similar one hanging in my bathroom!

Fat Is Beautiful sign. I have a similar one hanging in my bathroom!

So a day has passed and I hadn’t heard back until t his morning. Now the woman is going to try to use a credit card and asked me to leave it set to sell to Canada for a few more hours to give her time to figure it out. I graciously told her I’d give her 2 more days. I just want it to be done with, one way or the other.. The one thing I did learn is to stick to my guns. No matter how much pressure others put on me, I need to do what is right FOR ME. They may get mean and nasty if I don’t give in to their wishes but it’s either them or me unhappy and I’d rather it was them. Inject emoticon of a smiley face with a halo above. That’s where the saying “No good deed goes unpunished comes from”…
High fashion cat figurine.

High fashion cat figurine.

If you see anything you like in my pictures and live in the USA (wink,wink), check out my etsy shop under Dejavujunkie. 

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Into every life, a little rain must fall, right?! A little is the key! I’ve had enough rain to last me a lifetime. I’m over my quota so it’s someone else’s turn. The Powers That Be seem to think my life doesn’t have enough stress. So last week Wed. (June 26th) our basement flooded again. ūüė¶ It had only been two months since the last time! That’s some kind of record. Early that morning a heavy rain front had come over our town and just sat there. We got about 5″ of rain in a short amount of time. We’ve been getting a lot of rain this year¬†and have only had to water the garden ONCE. That’s unheard of. Usually I’m out watering every single night. The roads were like rivers and hubby couldn’t get out of the driveway to go to work. First he called his boss and said he’d be late. Then after a few hours passed and the street still wasn’t clear, he emailed her and told her he was taking a sick day. It would be nice for him to be off under other circumstances. In this case, we’d both rather he went to work than have the basement flood again. It basically ruined the whole weekend. The city put out barricades so people wouldn’t drive on the flooded streets and that was it. The sewers can’t handle the excess water and back up (it’s fairly clean rain water but still) which gets SO OLD. We got about a foot of water in the basement. After a couple hours, hubby unscrews the standpipe and the water goes right down. Then we had to suck up the rest of it with our rug shampooer. Then shampoo the rug. It just never seems to end. I had clothes hanging down on the line which made it inconvenient. It’s better than one time when I had all the dirty clothes spread out in piles on the floor, ready to wash.

 

Flooded street in front of our house

Flooded street in front of our house

Hubby’s been on his diabetes meds for just over 2 weeks and he still hasn’t got it under control. He is still taking readings 3 times a day and the best of the 3 is 2 hours after lunch when it is almost normal. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to us why it’s high when it is. I guess we’ll learn more over time.
 
My foot and legs have gotten a LOT more painful, just in the past week. This morning I woke up and it felt like I had polio. I could hardly walk. My foot was better but my right ankle wouldn’t bend. My legs are stiff and I feel hobbled. It is so discouraging to me. I am anxious to hear what the orthopedic specialist says next week. Yesterday I cut the dogs’ walk 4 blocks short. Today I did the whole thing but so much slower than usual. Plus it hurt like the dickens. Today is the first day where I can believe I’ll end up in a wheelchair someday. Of course, if I have anything to say about it, it won’t happen.
 
Friday we got a phone call with bad news from my mother-in-law. Greg’s older sister Linda’s cancer is back. She’s been in remission just under 3 years. She had such a bad bout with the chemotherapy for hairy cell leukemia in 2010 that we don’t know if she’ll go through that aggressive of a treatment again. She’s the strongest person we know and is a registered nurse. We support her no matter what she decides to do. She is leaving on a family vacation with her husband, daughter and son-in-law out to Seattle on July 5th. They are visiting her other daughter and her husband. She didn’t want to give up her vacation to start chemo since she’s afraid it might be her last trip and she was looking forward to it so much. Her immune system is compromised due to the cancer. Let’s hope she has a wonderful time on her vacation! This news was just another reminder to make the most of each day we have, even if they’re shitty ones.
 
I haven’t gone into detail about how my home life¬†has changed since¬†Mom’s dementia has gotten worse. I will probably write about it at some point. In the meantime, I’m going to include an incident here that happened on the day we flooded. I make my mom take a bath once a week. I try to do it while hubby’s at work. I’d planned to do it Wed. and then he ended up being home which turned out to be a good thing. We don’t have any special contraptions for the bathtub like railings or a walk-in or even a chair in there. It is just a regular tub. Mom’s always been able to get in and get out on her own. The past several months I’ve been getting everything ready for her. Filling the tub (she can’t regulate the water temp), getting towels ready, her bathbrush and washcloth, soap, etc. Then I pick out her clothes for after the bath. I draw the bath and help her get in. I put the toilet lid down and sit there and watch¬† her. I make sure she washes her whole body. To get in, she kneels down, facing the back and then turns on her side and then onto her back and then sits up. The last few times she’s been balking when it’s time to get out. She has to do the exact same thing in reverse. She starts yelling, “I can’t!” and then I tell her she can and explain how to do it. Last week she wouldn’t get out. She said she couldn’t and tried a few times and gave up. I can’t lift her out of the tub and I was kind of freaking out. All I could think of was that I’d have to call the ambulance to have them lift her out. Hubby heard us yelling back and forth (Mom’s deaf and her hearing aids are out so I have to yell) and came up to help. Bless his heart, he came in and helped lift her out. It was a living, breathing nightmare that was reduced to such relief.
 
This past weekend we were at an estate sale and they had these suction grip handles¬†for the bathroom. One was in the package, the other looked new and was out of the¬† package. We got them both for $5. We are going to try them this week on the wall and top of the bathtub so Mom has something to grab to get out of the tub. I hope it works! It will make my life a whole lot easier! This is just ONE thing I deal with on any given day…the fact that it happened on the day we flooded was almost too much to bear.
 

Super Grip Handles for the bathtub

Super Grip Handles for the bathtub

Also on Wed. there was a message on our answering machine.¬†Hubby and I had walked the dogs that afternoon to see how much water damage was in the neighborhood. It was Gottlieb Hospital calling to say that I’d had a mammogram on the 13th, something had looked suspicious¬†and they needed me to come back for more views. My heart stopped before I even heard the rest of the message. For one thing, my doctor’s office had called and I’d had to call back the week before and they’d told me my mammogram was normal. For another, I’ve had to go back for more views a few times in the past (before they went to digital mammos, I think) and every time, they’d sent a letter, never called! I figured this was more serious if they were calling! The woman on the phone then went on to say “Wait a second, you already came back once.” I’m standing there listening, still in awe. I hadn’t gone back. Then she goes on, “Let me call you back, I think they gave me the wrong information. You are fine. You are to come back in one year.” Finally she said “Let me finalize this and I’ll call you back.” Of course, she never did call back!! That hospital is seriously fudged up!! I knew someone screwed up but still, how many things can they get wrong?! The answer: ALL OF THEM. I’ve been lucky not to really need much health care in my lifetime. It was just frosting on the cake of the day I had. Just call me Lemony Snicket. My life is A Series Of Unfortunate Events! ūüėČ
 
So I don’t end this on a glum note, I have to tell you about the highlight of our weekend. On Saturday, our dogs had an impromptu playdate with a Shiba Inu named Asher. He’s 4 years old and weighs 48 lbs. He used to be 53. My Amber just turned 5 yrs. old and weighs 21 lbs. We’d met Asher and his human family a few times before and they’d played while on leashes. We were walking our furkids in front of their house and they came out and told us to wait. They all came out and brought Asher. He is a sweet dog but because of his breed, he gets afraid of other dogs and sometimes acts aggressively. It is only because others don’t understand how he is. He needs more socialization with other dogs but nobody else wants to take the time to let their dog go up to him SLOWLY. Amber is the same way. While Elvis and Ivy run up to anyone and want to be petted and kissed or play with other dogs, Amber has to be held back a few seconds. She has to just stand and look at the other dog and get used to him/her. Then I slowly let her get close and then she’s fine. Asher’s family wanted me to take just Amber in their backyard to play with Asher. I went but Amber wanted her brother and sister and didn’t know what to do. They were fine together but Amber wasn’t in the play mood. Then I came out with her and Greg took Elvis inside while the aunt held Ivy on her leash. Elvis loved it and was running like mad with Asher. He then came up to the gate and was looking at us wondering why we didn’t go in. So then we all went in and all 4 dogs ran loose and played and had a good old time. Asher really took to Elvis but then who doesn’t?! Neither Greg or I had our iphones with us but both of Asher’s parents, his aunt and grandma all were taking video of them playing. It really lifted our spirits and was so much fun. The dogs loved it and we loved it. I could’ve watched it all day! They told us several times to come back anytime. That we should ring the bell when we’re walking by and they can play again. Maybe we’ll have to do something like that over the holiday weekend and make sure we get some pictures or video!
 

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