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Posts Tagged ‘#cutcarbs’

Today would’ve been my mom’s 96th birthday. I was going to write a nice tribute to her but I’m not in the mood. I’ve had a weird backache since yesterday. It’s in my left hip and the pain is not constant. It is sudden and severe and makes me yell out and takes my breath away at the same time. As far as I know, I didn’t injure myself. I had a weird hip thing about 10 years ago that was totally different. It was severe but I had it 24/7 for months until I got a low dose of steroids. Then it was  supposedly arthritis but this must be a pulled muscle. Anyway, I’m still doing things like laundry and walking the dogs, just dosing myself with Tylenol.

I’ve never written a blog post about losing weight. I always said I would but never got around to it. This isn’t going to be it either. I’m at the highest weight I’ve ever been. I’ve gained in the last 4 years even after being told specifically to lose weight for my spinal stenosis. As a young girl, I always wanted to be thin and tried everything to lose weight. Sometime over the last 2 decades, I lost the desire to lose weight. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t “enjoy” being fat. I’m used to it. It is what I’ve always been and if I was thin, it wouldn’t be “me”. I was going to say it’s part of my identity but that makes it sound like I’m one of the fatties that are proud to be large and in charge. I’m not proud, I’m ashamed of my size but I’m through apologizing. I like to eat. Taking away one of the things I enjoy most in life is a big sacrifice. That being said, I want to be healthy. I want to be able to walk and move and not have pain. I don’t want to lose any organs or get a disease I will have to treat the rest of my life. I don’t want to take copious amounts of prescription medicines or have surgery. I have no one to be healthy for anymore but myself. I never feel worth the trouble or bother.

 

Taking all that into consideration, I am making the effort to cut out some carbs. Hubby has been going to our new doctor since Jan. Since his diagnosis of diabetes in June 2013, he got it under control almost immediately. Over time he was losing a handle on it and then after my mom died 5 1/2 months ago, it completely got out of control. He’s been having symptoms that he never had before,  high blood sugar readings, etc. The doctor first tried putting him on Janumet for a month along with the Metformin but it didn’t help. Now he’s on an insulin pen once a day. He started out with 10 ml which isn’t enough. He got very sick this past week from his body “crashing”. He has to see the doctor every single week until things have leveled off. Friday, his dose was upped to 20 ml and found out he had a sinus infection, too. So he’s on antibiotics, a nasal spray, etc. He’s been sick since Tues. but managed to go to work. On Sat. I had planned for us to go somewhere but he was too ill so we stayed home and he went to bed for 4 hours in the middle of the day. I’ve been going to the doctor with him every time. This doctor says things like, “If you lose 100 lbs., you can get off the meds altogether!” Uh…in the 3 decades I’ve known my husband, he never weighed 100 lbs. less. It’s never going to happen. He can lose 30 lbs. over time, maybe even 50 if ambitious but not 100.

 

So our weekends have been taken up with less than fun things lately. A week ago yesterday, we spent the entire day working in the yard. First we went to Ace Hardware and got 6 bags of top soil for 99 cents each. Plus 6 bags of cypress mulch to put around the trees. We cut the grass and put down fertilizer and Grubex. There is just so much to do and either no time or no energy to do it. We get done what we can but life feels very mundane right now….

 

We’ve been doing a lot of food shopping. The doctor wants Greg to cut out all carbs. I don’t think that’s realistic but we’re definitely putting in the work to cut them a lot. We love bread and sandwiches so much but that seems to be one of the biggest culprits. Hubby used to take 2 sandwiches for lunch and we lowered it to one but he might have to go without completely. I’ve been making hard boiled eggs every week and giving him 2 in his lunch. I also make the chicken drumsticks in the Big Boss airless cooker and give him 2 of those every day for lunch. Last night I also cooked an entire turkey breast in there which took 3 hours. It’s almost as much work as cooking a whole turkey. We’re trying to stay away from processed lunchmeat so this or tuna is all I can think of. Today I made a Turkey Salad with celery, red onion, apple and a delicious curry dressing. I didn’t have walnuts or grapes so subbed yellow pepper. I put it on lettuce with some grape tomatoes all around. It was really good! Like something you’d have a corporate luncheon. We also bought some of the Adkins snack bars since Greg has such a sweet tooth. A coworker of his has bowls of candy out and is always offering it. He has a terrible time keeping away from it. I can’t police him, especially if I’m not with him. I miss dessert too but baking most of all. I started looking up low carb bars but most have weird seed type ingredients.

 

This is just a quick post about what we’ve been dealing with lately. I hope to someday have my will to write back. I’m still plugging along. Not really getting anywhere but still taking up space. My heart isn’t in dieting or writing or anything these days. My best guess is that my heart is with my mom and always will be.

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