Today came down to either whipping out a quick overdue blog post or using the time to leave comments on several blogs. I’m trying to stick to posting at least once a month and this month is almost over so I gave in to my desire to write and my panic that time is slipping away from me.
Time Won’t Let Me
October 27, 2010 by almostakiss
The majority of my anxiety in life stems from lack of time. I constantly feel like I don’t get enough done (even though others tell me otherwise) and should always be doing more. I have high expectations for myself that I would never place on others. There’s only so many hours in a day and yet I sometimes kill myself scrambling to get done even a portion of what I’d like to accomplish.
If I had my way, I’d cook every meal from scratch, bake goodies daily, keep up with the laundry & housework, read a magazine & book, spend time writing and being online, watch all the tv I want, walk & play with my dogs, make greeting cards & labels, run errands, go shopping, go to the library, keep abreast of all my Twitter friends, chat on the phone with an ex-coworker, play the cello, listen to music, be creative with some form of art, do volunteer work, etc. The list basically never ends.
Logic dictates that is it physically impossible to squeeze all of that into a single day. So how do I come to terms with the fact that not everything will get done? That some days I have to only do things that NEED to be done and none of what I actually WANT to do? That’s not a rhetorical question, I really want to know!
I am a living, breathing example of someone who thinks about retirement everyday, dreaming of all they will do when the magic day comes that they have “free time” again. Then when the time comes, years pass and they never have time to clean out their closet or take up sewing their own clothes. I left a very stressful job working nights when we moved here. I had a brief stint as “just a housewife” (oh the unfettered joy) before taking on a home business. Just because you’re home every day doesn’t mean you have any more time…
I was raised to be a well-rounded person and try as many new things as possible. Unfortunately, there are now so many things I like and enjoy doing or still want to try, I could live to 150 and not even scratch the surface. Is everyone like this?
I honestly don’t know how women with kids manage when there is so much to do: just taking care of the little things like paying bills, keeping prescriptions filled, making doctor appts., car maintenance, etc. What does everyone tell themselves when they feel like a failure for not doing more? That you’re doing the best you can? I’ve tried that and it just doesn’t stick with me for long.
I’ve often thought that “something has to give”. I need to prioritize and give up some things so I don’t have as much pressure. How do you choose what to sacrifice?
I had a coworker/friend who actually made me feel lazy even though I’m not. She would give up sleep to be working at home constantly cleaning or fixing things up. Everything had to be perfect. I don’t expect everything to be perfect but I’d like to see what it’s like once. :0
I don’t want to give the wrong impression, I’m happy with the way things are but hate that I feel frantic when I have a super busy week with no down time. This time of year tends to already have every single day spoken for with something going on. I need to keep my wits about me so my anxiety doesn’t get the better of me. Any tricks you’ve discovered to keep from getting overwhelmed in life would be appreciated! 🙂
P.S. The title of this post is a song I love by The Outsiders. It’s from 1966 but I didn’t find it until the mid-80’s. Good music is timeless!