The New Normal

I’ve been disconnected from social media for the past 2 weeks. So much has been going on that I’ve been almost speechless. There was just too much to tell and no time to tell it. A week ago yesterday we ventured up to Madison, WI for a housewarming party. We took a bottle of Twin Fin wine and a cool bud vase with 2 peonies from our garden. One was in bloom and the other hadn’t opened yet. People host parties differently than I ever did. Not that I’m an expert but we always gave people a tour of the house. To the point where hubby would show them our spare bedroom we use for storage and I’d rather he skipped it. We didn’t get a tour or really any acknowledgement for what we brought. I have to believe they were just overwhelmed by the party itself. From what we saw of the house (looking for the bathroom), it was really nice. They’re at the stage of being young and excited and willing to knock themselves out to have things perfect. I remember it well even though it is so far behind me. Every room had a fresh coat of paint, the kitchen had been redone and all the curtains were sewed by Greg’s sister Linda. It was her daughter and son-in-law who had the party. Linda has lost quite a bit of weight by being on the HCG diet which I know very little about. She has to give herself shots daily and eat a very limited diet (about 500 calories a day). The change in her size and shape is remarkable. It seems like everyone I know has been losing weight lately. Making me The Last Fat Woman Standing. Don’t think I haven’t been entertaining the idea. I just don’t know where to start. Small changes I’ve made have made no difference and I hate doing anything drastic. The pondering on it will continue due to our new reality regarding hubby’s recent health diagnosis.

 

While at last week’s party, we talked with my mother-in-law and one of Greg’s brothers, Dan. They had both lost their Golden Retriever dogs within the past 6 months. They both expressed an interest in getting a new puppy (same breed). That’s one thing Greg & I know how to do is find a dog. We suggested a rescue dog since we had such good luck with Elvis. They both wanted a younger dog. This got both Greg & I thinking and when we got home, we started searching online. My M-I-L doesn’t really use the Internet and Dan is too busy. We found a woman in Schaumburg, IL (not far from us) who had a some 8 & 10 week old Goldens. Their pictures looked beautiful. She has another litter due this week so had discounted the price on the puppies from $1000 to $700. I thought it would be neat if Dan & his mom could get sisters since they live across the street from each other and the pups could grow up together. Greg emailed Dan and never heard back. Greg called and talked to the woman and found out she would set up an appt. for Friday or Sun to show the dogs. Then he called Dan and they were getting ready to host this graduation party for their daughter this weekend. So we could tell nothing would ever come of it. Greg also called his mother and offered to drive up to WI (90 miles), pick her up, take her to see the puppies and drive her home. She said she’d let him know. I thought that was really a generous offer but I swear people just like to TALK about doing things (like getting another dog) and not really do it. There is no way we’d ever get a puppy and just give it to someone since we’d be afraid they’d say no. Anyway, Greg and I really gave it our all and it fell flat. It was kind of discouraging.

 

Thursday I was having my mammogram and MRI for my back. At 4 pm on Wed. I got a phone call from the hospital, saying I’d have to reschedule the MRI since they hadn’t gotten pre-approval from the insurance co. We have Blue Cross through the federal govt which is usually great.  After phone calls back and forth with the doctor’s office, we find out that even though the appt. was made 3 weeks before, they had just called the insurance co. THAT DAY to get approval. The people who work in Dr. Feelgood’s office are TERRIBLE. It’s enough to make us switch doctors but who knows what else we’d end up with at the next one. So I could only get in at 9:15 am on Wed. June 19th for the MRI. I’m half expecting a call Tues. telling me they don’t have approval yet.

 

To add insult to injury, hubby had gone in on June 5th for a blood pressure check and to get his A1C glucose test. He called 2 days later for the results and they said they didn’t have them yet. They said they would call as soon as they had them. On Wed. after dealing with the screwup of my MRI, I told him to ask about his test results from a week before. They had them but had never called! If he hadn’t asked, who knows if he’d ever have found out. So just like that, over the phone, he finds out he has diabetes. They told him they were sending a prescription for Metformin to our local pharmacy right away and he could stop in the next day for a lesson on how to use a blood glucose meter. This worked out ok since I was getting the mammogram the next day. He came with me and waited and then we went upstairs to the doctor’s office. One of the assistants took us in a room and gave him a meter (One Touch Ultra Mini) and a few test strips and lancets and a written prescription for the strips and lancets. She gave us some other info and told  him to adjust his diet. She gave him a pamphlet about what to order at fast food restaurants. He told her we never eat fast food or fried food. She was so shocked. I know it’s a large part of most Americans’ diets but we have never cared for the feeling of bloat afterwards. We used to eat at McDonalds like once a year and we even got away from that. We’re already eating brown rice and whole grain bread. The major change I see forthcoming is hubby eats a lot of fruit. A banana, an orange, a couple of small apples a day. Now he has to spread them out throughout the day instead of eating all at once. So he has to take his blood glucose readings 3 times a day (before breakfast, 2 hours after any meal and then before bedtime). She also told him to call the insurance co. and see which place they want you to buy from. The ins. co. wasn’t very helpful, except for giving him the name of a diabetic supply place in Elk Grove Village, IL. They also told him the insurance pays 70% of the ALLOWED cost and he has to pay the rest. I told him to call around to places like Osco, Sam’s Club and Walgreens to get quotes.

 

One Touch UltraMini Blood Glucose Monitor

Hubby’s been feeling sorry for himself since his diagnosis. I guess that happens with some people. I haven’t even begun to feel sorry for myself with my back! In fact, I’ve been extra active and been going on a dead run lately. It hasn’t made me feel any worse and in fact, my foot has been feeling better. I don’t see any end in sight for the doctor’s appts. though. Greg was told to come back July 10th to have his glucose readings evaluated and get his blood pressure checked. Maybe by then I’ll be able to get my mammogram and MRI results.

 

 

The New Normal

We went to estate sales on Friday and there were a few in our town on Sat. but we just had to skip them. Too much else to deal with before leaving for the graduation party in Pewaukee, WI. We had been debating what to give for a gift and finally decided on a ladies’ size German beer stein. It was beautifully handpainted with a pewter lid, etc. I had it all bubbled wrapped and in the box before I remembered to take a picture of it so I didn’t get one. I took a picture of her opening it and it’s just a blur. My phone (or ME) is taking shitty pictures lately. I’m morally opposed to giftwrapping but wrapped the present anyway. We were one of the only people who didn’t give money. When she opened it, she didn’t even know what it was. Since she’s going to college in Madison (a party town), it just seemed appropriate. Yes, we’ve turned into the goofy, old aunt and uncle who give quirky gifts. This was my first time being in their house, even though they’ve lived there close to 20 years. No tour of that either and I saw less than the previous week’s house. I made a point of thanking my brother-in-law and his wife for the invite and letting them know it was my first time seeing it. Due to the weird family dynamic and strained relationships over decades, they haven’t been to our house either.

 

I always make cards on the computer since I’m against buying ready made cards.  Someday I’ll go into detail on here about why I’m opposed to both that and giftwrap. Hubby was trying to print something out the day before the party and found out we were out of gray ink. Our printer takes 2 different blacks, a gray, red, yellow and blue cartridges. It prints like a professional printer. I’m in love with it. Since we got the thing, the only store that sells the gray ink for it is ABT. So I told hubby to call first and see if they had it. He refused. I should have offered to call but I had things to do! Instead we are on the verge of a fight since he insists on going over there the morning of the party!! I told  him to go buy a cheap graduation card at the grocery store. Instead he goes and comes home with a new printer!! Wow, was I mad! It’s another Canon printer but a cheap one that only has 2 ink cartridges (one black and one for colors). He said they no longer carry the gray ink and this was on sale for $58. I know they’re cheap now but I don’t print that much stuff but what I do print, I want to have quality. I was mad that he couldn’t call me and tell me or ask me or consult me in any way. It’s not the price of the purchase, it’s so much more than that. So then we got into a fight and ended up fighting in the car on the way up to WI which is always fun. NOT. He stacked the new printer on top of the old one (which I still want to keep and use, it’s not broken!) and was able to print out a card. The quality looked TERRIBLE and I was so disappointed. I made him address and sign the whole card, which I usually do for us.

 

To keep this from reaching book length, I’m going to end here. I have more to share but will save it for my next few blog posts. In the meantime, we’re just adjusting to The New Normal. It’s only been a few days so at this point, we’re just trying to get used to the idea of hubby having The Sugar Diabetes. Yes, to lighten the mood, that’s what we’re calling it. That’s what it was called when we were kids. To start off on the right track, hubby didn’t have any cake at the grad party yesterday. About 6 people asked me if I wanted a piece. I said, “No, I wouldn’t feel right eating it when Greg can’t.” Then I look over and see my M-I-L shoveling cake into her pie hole. She has diabetes too and I felt like I’d just put both feet in my mouth. Oh well. The older I get, the more I’m used to saying things, consequences be damned.

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Dr. Feelgood

Yesterday was physically and mentally exhausting for me. I took my mom to the doctor for the first time in 4 years. When she finally agreed to go, I jumped at the chance. I made the appointment a month ago and this was the soonest I could get her in. She just turned 92 last week so I figured it was a good time to check in with the doctor and see what he suggested for 3 medical issues I was concerned about. BTW, when you turn 92, people don’t wish you a “Happy Birthday”, they say, “Congratulations!” I know a lot of people avoid going to the doctor because I’m one of them. I made an appointment for hubby and I for 2 weeks from now. My dad was the opposite and “loved” going to the doctor. He liked the attention and he liked talking to a professional. He wasn’t a hypochondriac or anything, he had genuine medical conditions that needed treatment. He just looked forward to going.

 We’ve been going to our Family Practice doctor, Dr. James, since mid-1996. We had moved here the year before and had pored over the big book of doctors the insurance co. had sent us to “pick a doctor”. We didn’t know one from another and just picked the most generic name and hoped for the best. In July 1996, hubby was remodeling our basement and cut his hand with a table saw. (That’s a whole future blog post so I won’t spoil the fun with details now.) He had to get Dr. James (who we’d never met) to refer him to a specialist in the network. At the time, Dr. James was working in our town like a mile away. The convenience was intoxicating. No, not really but I love saying that word. Dr. James was 41 yrs. old at the time (8 years older than me and 6 years older than hubby). He had his hair in a ponytail, wore glasses and just seemed like a cool guy. He loves to talk, like maybe no one else I’ve ever met on earth. No, really, *I* love to talk but he could just talk all day on any subject for hours with just one patient. That’s not a bad thing and it gives him a great rapport with everyone! I used to say to hubby that I’d love to socialize with Dr. J because he seems so fun. Hubby squashed that idea, saying it just wouldn’t be a good idea to socialize with our doctor. Left to my own devices, I might’ve invited him over to a party at our house.

 

A year or so after we met Dr. J, he moved to an office somewhere in Chicago. We went there once to see him and then the following year he ended up where he’s been ever since 1998 in a south suburb of Chicago. It takes a good half hour of driving from where we live due south to get to the hospital that he has his office in. Come to think of it, we tried a local doctor for 1 time back when he first moved down there since we thought it was too far to go. This local doctor was the opposite of Dr. J. He scared the hell out of me. He immediately lectured me on my weight, told me not to ever bake again or eat certain foods, it just went on and on. When he heard my father’s history with heart disease, he spun into overdrive telling me I would have to change everything in my life if I wanted to live. He told me he wanted to see me again in like 3 mos. I was shaking when I left there. I’m a worrier anyway and didn’t need to have a death sentence put on me. Hubby had been with me and we both agreed that he was not a good fit for us as a doctor. (One of the best things is that hubby and I often go along to the doctor together for moral support and just to be an advocate for the other.) We decided then and there we would follow Dr. J wherever he went and that he was worth the drive.

 

Dr. J isn’t perfect and having a doctor as laid back as him has had its faults. Like when he doesn’t call back when we call him with emergencies. Or he doesn’t get back to us with test results. Or that one time he prescribed the wrong medicine for my mom. I don’t know how much of that is him and how much of it is incompetent staff. He subscribes to the “First Do No Harm” school of medicine. He often doesn’t touch his patients with a 10 foot pole, or at all, if he can help it. That sounds odd when you think of it but I guess he does something better that not a lot of doctors don’t do: he listens. As much as he loves to talk, he does listen to all your symptoms and complaints. He never tells you when to come back, he lets you decide when you need to come back. He never tells me to get a mammogram, I tell him that I want an order for one and he gives it to me. He never tells me to get a pap smear, I just do it when I can get up the nerve. The only thing he’s ever been firm on with me was making me quit birth control pills when I was 40. He said they’re too dangerous after that age. He made a remark years ago “When in doubt, yank it out.” Of course, all that did was make me say to hubby “got me a rock-n-roll band, it’s a free-for-all!” That’s just what everyone wants, a doctor that channels Ted Nugent.

 

Getting back to yesterday, I asked him about some treatment for Alzheimer’s / Dementia that Mom has been sliding into the past year. I knew from commercials on tv that the Exelon Patch was an option. He named Aricept and Namenda as other options. Then he told us that they don’t cure, only treat symptoms. He also said that in the past few weeks, it’s been brought to the medical field’s attention that none of them work. They work the same as a placebo. So any help from them would be negligible and he said the side effects are horrible. He read them off to us and I agreed. The side effects could make her sick or even kill her which obviously isn’t what we’re going for here. He said at this point to just keep her safe. She doesn’t wander outside or try to use the stove or oven. He said we shouldn’t expect her to be able to do everything she could 20 years ago. To just let her live her life and do whatever gives her pleasure. If she wants to watch tv all day (she doesn’t) or sit on the porch and watch the flowers, she should be able to. We got discussing food and I said how much hubby and Mom love ice cream and that I limit us to once a week. He said that was right for hubby but Mom could have ice cream every night if she wanted. Just to give her quality of life and keep her happy. He didn’t even do any blood tests on her. He said at her age, it doesn’t really matter. His mother is 90 and her doctor took her off her cholesterol medicine since at her age, it’s just not necessary. A lot of other doctors would run a ton of tests on her and put her on all kinds of medication. I kind of like his minimalist approach. Above all else, he seems to know the value of life and of letting people live their lives with dignity, being themselves and doing what they enjoy. He didn’t tell her she needed to come back either which made her happy.

 

He gave her some samples of Vesicare to try for incontinence. Also recommended Neosporin for the skin ulcers on her left leg. I  had to really keep after him to give her something for the itching. Finally he relented and gave her a script for some pills. They seem to help but make her sleepy. If she’s sleeping, she’s not picking her leg. I’ve lectured her so many times about leaving it alone but it’s either a habit now or it itches so badly that she can’t leave it alone. I’ve done everything short of handcuffing her hand or putting mittens on her so she can’t scratch. It has been so stressful for me for so long because it feels like she doesn’t listen to me. I will tell her to leave it alone and just seconds later, she’ll be at it again. I’ve tried wrapping it and taping it and as soon as I leave the room she’ll tear off the tape and bandage and scratch it. It looks really awful and is now infected. I’m afraid she’ll lose her leg. I’m staying on top of it so hopefully, if I can just get her to leave it alone, it should heal in a few weeks! Yesterday, I got her prescription filled at Jewel and got the Neosporin and she left it alone until this morning. I woke her and then checked on her a few minutes later and she’d already loosened the bandage and dug at it. That undoes all the good work of healing from the previous hours. It’s so frustrating. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to give her one of the anti-itching pills when I wake her up and hope it kicks in before she can do any damage.

 

We were the first appointment of the day at 10 am. I made sure we got there early at 9:50 am. The doctor was late which isn’t unusual. Mom once had an appt. late in the day and had to wait 3 hours since he was running late! He said he had 2 flat tires so with all the car troubles I’ve had, I could sympathize. We got called into the exam room at 10:45 and he spent close to an hour with us (which is what they booked her for when I made the appt.). When we got out of the room at 11:45 am, I had to go to the bathroom so bad since I had my period. I had the cramps from hell and there was a woman in the 2 stall bathroom on the telephone the whole time talking about magnolia trees. The other stall had a woman with 3 small kids. I was getting so overheated too (it was in the 80′s) and just generally felt sick. Got out of the bathroom at noon, drove back to our town to the pharmacy and it was 1 pm before we got home. I hadn’t walked the dogs yet and was going to before lunch but I was too exhausted. I did it later at 4:30 pm after I got my second wind. I was so tired and I had to make our lunch. I feel like I’m still recovering from yesterday. I’m just SO glad it’s over. 

 

 

 

 

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File This Under Bullshit

Every week there’s something that throws us off our game. As some would say, “God has a sense of humor.” I need to write a post on religion and God since I’ve got kind of a weird take on the whole thing. In the mean time, I’ll just say I like to believe that God has better things to do than mess with our lives and sit back and laugh.

 2 months ago we went through the ordeal of switching our insurance–the whole she-bang of house, 2 cars and RV. I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to change things because I just KNOW I’m going to have problems. Like if I move a chair to a different location, the leg will fall off. Better to leave it where it is. Better to pay more for insurance than risk being toyed with by a nationally known company. Basically, this is living in fear and accepting that what you know is less scary than what you don’t know. So we’d had the same insurance for years (I detailed this all in my post 2 months ago “One part snow, 99 parts chaos”) and it was hubby’s idea to switch. We managed to choose AAA and feel “fairly good” about the decision and the savings. We were hoping not to even think about it again for many years (with the exception of paying when the premium comes due).

 

Since I obviously don’t know how to make a long story short, last Monday (April 22nd) we got a notice (actually 2) from AAA in the mail. Hubby brought it in when he got home from work. So we didn’t even get to greet each other and he handed me the mail. I saw the first notice, opened it and then yelped, “they’re raising the insurance on the 2 cars and RV by $35!” All it said for a reason was “Rating Factor Adjustment”. You could see the wheels turning in both our minds, we haven’t had any accidents or tickets and the vehicles are getting older. We were both worked up about that and he immediately got on the phone with AAA but the underwriters were gone for the day already. Meanwhile, I opened the 2nd notice and about fainted! AAA was cancelling our house insurance as of May 24th! How on earth could this be?! Reading further, all it said was because of a dog. When we first signed up, they told us someone would drive by to look at the house. They wouldn’t need to come in, just look around outside. I was looking for them steady for the 2 weeks after we signed up and no sign. We both forgot about it until we got this notice. Hubby talked to one of the guys on the phone and he said the car rates going up had nothing to do with the house insurance being cancelled but he couldn’t give us a reason WHY they had gone up. As for WHY we had gotten cancelled, the records showed the underwriter had come to the house and “heard” an aggressive dog. He didn’t SEE one. Ok, we have 3 dogs, 2 weigh 21 lbs., the other weighs 23 lbs. None of them are aggressive. One barks but only at first, one can’t bark and one is deaf. None are the breeds that are on the banned list like pitbulls. They are all good dogs that are fine around people and most other dogs. We’ve had dogs for the entire time we’ve lived here and in 17+ years, none have ever bitten anyone. A few weeks ago, we had the Directv guy in our house for 2 hours and the dogs were fine! Today, the meter reader for the gas co. came inside and I took him into the basement and the dogs were inside and loose and just fine. So we can’t figure out where the AAA guy got the idea that any of our dogs were aggressive. The oddest thing is he never knocked on the door or called either our home phone or cell phone. He could have met the dogs and seen for himself if he was worried. To think that a company just cancels a policy without even a phone call letting you know what the problem was and seeing if it could be rectified. How unprofessional.

 

On top of all this, hubby and I were worried that we would have to appeal this which involves a lot of paperwork and who knows what else. If we let it stand, I can’t imagine how hard it would be to get house insurance elsewhere after you tell them you got cancelled! Plus the rates would be astronomical. Hubby was told to email the company and tell them that none of the dogs had ever bitten anyone or had any special training to attack people. He did it and in the meantime, we got another notice saying that we were going to be cancelled and get X amount of money back. Finally on Friday, the guy from AAA hubby was working with called to say it was taken care of and we won’t be dropped. Now of course we’re wondering if after May 24 a refund check will show up in the mail and we’ll have to deal with this over again. I feel like we can never relax and breathe easy and think that things are taken care of because time after time, we find out nothing is ever over!

 

Today we got a notice saying our car and RV insurance rate is going back down…Oy vey. Now we’re wondering if we want to stay long term with a company like this or if we’re going to have to switch again in Sept. In either case, I don’t want to think about it anymore. The worst thing about this whole ordeal was how we ended up fighting because hubby got so mad and stressed out. I was stressed out too but he lashes out at me which takes awhile for me to get over. You’d think after almost 28 years together we’d have figured out how to get along under the worst of circumstances. For the most part, we get along great. It’s when problems arise that it puts wear and tear on our relationship. We no longer fight when the basement floods so there’s that.

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One Part Snow, 99 Parts Chaos

I thought I’d finally achieved a schedule for blogging. Posting once a week seemed almost manageable. Then life intervened as it tends to do and I’m back to doing it whenever I can squeeze in a spare moment. Last Wed. it was too cold to walk the dogs. I usually feel guilty if I don’t do it. This time I was almost giddy with the anticipation of having an extra half hour of free time! Turning over in my mind all the things I wanted to do and I’d have to choose whether to blog or do something else. Instead the decision was made for me when the phone rang at 9:45 am.

 

It was my postal friend Doreen. My coworkers from the time when I worked at the Post Office are like family. I liken it to the comaraderie of soldiers in battle. The fact that we all survived what goes on there (untold to this point) gives us an unbroken bond that time and mileage can’t break. Doreen lives in Milwaukee so I hardly ever see her but we try to keep in touch. We have always been able to talk for hours but the last few times we chatted, I had to limit it to only an hour. Last week Doreen called unexpectedly to say she’d just gotten back from a week in Tucson, AZ and had taken the day off to recover. My extra free half hour evaporated into thin air along with more so that we were on the phone until just after noon. It was good to catch up but I always feel like something else has to suffer when I do it. We talked about many things and then she told me about making her own laundry detergent. It sounds so interesting with ingredients like Borax, Zote soap, baking soda, Oxy Clean, Purex crystals and Arm & Hammer washing powder. Yesterday I received a small envelope containing a sample of it in the mail from her. I just finished all our laundry last week but I am anxious to try it. Between her and a few others on Twitter, it sounds like it’s the best thing since sliced bread! I just can’t figure out why there’s such a trend now to going back to the olden days when everyone made their own stuff. Of course it’s cheaper but lack of time is where convenience and laziness comes into play.

 

What else has been going on? Last weekend, after a week of getting quotes and comparing, we finally switched our car, RV and homeowners insurance. We’d had Progressive for our RV insurance since June 1998 when we first started RVing. We’re on our 3rd (used) RV and have always stayed with them. We used to have a $1000 deductible (later switched to $500) which sucks since we had to put in a couple of claims. One was back when 3 punk teenagers broke into both skylights in the RV, shimmied in and vandalized, stole and partied inside. This was inside the “secure” place we used to store it at. They also broke into 29 others the same night. It happened like 2 days before we were going to leave on a trip and had to cancel and have the motorhome in for repair for 2 months! It was a nightmare going to court. One of the kids didn’t even show up, the others the judge didn’t even let or any of the victims speak. He just gave them a slap on the wrist. One used the excuse of being bipolar so he wasn’t responsible. We actually heard the lawyer tell the kid NOT to get a job or he’d have to make restitution to us. Another time we had a claim when the wind blew the sides off the RV. It’s as freaky as it sounds. Anyway, Progressive was very good about it so we decided to keep them. 2 years ago, our car insurance, Constitutional Casualty, went belly up! We got a notice from the state saying we could get part of our premium back if we showed proof of payment. Well, we’d recently switched banks and the only proof I had was the entry written in the checkbook which didn’t count. So we got screwed there. We blamed our no good insurance agent who’d recommended the company. We decided to go with Progressive for our 2 cars also. We had them rewrite the policy for the RV (minus the agent) so we would get a multi-vehicle discount. Well, every time they send us propaganda or reminder notices, it would say “you’ve been a customer for 1 year”. All the years with them previously didn’t count. ANNOYING. Both the car and RV insurance EACH went up $30 a year. We’ve had no accidents, tickets and the cars are getting older and I’m over 50 now. None of it made sense! We called Progressive to get a new quote or see if they could lower the premium before we started looking elsewhere. First when we asked WHY it went up, they said they look at EVERYONE in our neighborhood’s claims and go by that. RIDICULOUS.

 

When we mentioned about having RV insurance with them since 1998, they don’t see it in their records. It shows since 2004, according to them. So much anger just fueled us to get as many quotes as we could. Now with our homeowners’ insurance, we’ve been with State Farm since we moved here in 1995. We’ve never filed a claim and yet we pay $900 annually. It is outrageous, we’ve just been too lazy to look into a different company. We got quotes bundling the 3 vehicles and the house. Liberty Mutual looked promising. Me to hubby: ”I thought they were kind of a sketchy company for old people.” Hubby: “We ARE old people.” Me: <blink>. To make a long story short, we went with AAA. With Progressive, we had been paying $410 twice a year for my ’93 Pontiac Bonneville & hubby’s ’04 Jeep Grand Cherokee. The RV was $600 a year. Now we’re paying $435.13 for 6 months for all 3. The house insurance is down to $574. This is all for identical coverage. Hopefully, we’ll feel the savings and they’ll be a fair company to deal with.

 

We hate insurance. It’s a necessity but it seems like we are always paying and never get to use it. I guess everyone feels this way. Dealing with the insurance agents was awful. For trying to get your business, some of them are downright rude! They won’t let you get a word in edgewise. At least that’s over with.

 

Sunday night I finally broke down and ordered a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) light from Amazon. I’ve been thinking of it for years and finally my Twitter friend Liza told me which one to get. I will take pictures and post all about it when it arrives. Every year the lack of sunshine really messes with my mood. I’ve been SO TIRED lately, that all I can say is how tired I am all the time. February is the worst for me and since Feb. is almost over, I thought I might just wait until the fall. Then I realized how much I’m suffering and to just give it a try. I get so down that I don’t even go on Twitter, I don’t take any pictures for Instagram, etc. I just withdraw and I know it has something to do with how dark and gloomy this time of year is. I’ve really got my hopes up that this does the trick!

 

Snow day for dogs

Last Wed. hubby stopped to get milk on his way home from work and Dominick’s was out of milk. They let him have 2 half gallons (the last 2 in the store!) for the price of a gallon. Every time a snowstorm is predicted, people buy up everything like they might never get fed again. Anyway, while he was there, he got me some spring flowers. Beautiful tulips in a pot that I can replant if I want in the fall. They hadn’t opened yet when he gave them to me but they’ve been opening more every single day. Today with a blizzard outside, they are fully open! I love having fresh flowers in the house. It always makes me think of Nikki Newman on The Young and The Restless who always has huge arrangements of fresh flowers in her home. Yes, I want to live my life like the GOOD parts of a soap opera!

 

Spring tulips in the middle of winter

I’d been planning to make a pork roast in the crockpot for over a week. Doreen told me about what she put on hers: a can of mushroom soup, a packet of onion soup mix and a can of Pepsi. I’m always game for anything so I did it yesterday. We didn’t have any regular Pepsi only the XFactor Pepsi which we bought because it was $1.29 for a 12 pack. Later on we found out it is Dragonfruit flavor. I don’t even know what that is but hubby tried it and loved it. He’s been using it to make Milk & Pepsi for him and my mom. He’s been a fan since he was a kid and saw them drink it on Laverne & Shirley. I’ve tasted his and it’s ok but I can’t get past the fact that it’s soda and milk. Although I like rootbeer floats and that’s not that much of a stretch… Anyway, I put that on the pork and it turned out great. I had a HUGE roast that I’d gotten for half price because it was reduced for quick sale at Sam’s Club. I only buy those if they look perfect, not a hint of “oldness” to them. I froze it right away and it was just as good as if I’d paid an enormous amount. The roast was SO BIG it was all I could fit in my crockpot. I had bought a slew of vegetables to go with it so had to go in the basement and unpack my other crockpot. I keep it in the box and only use it in situations like this. Both have ceramic inserts, the one I had the meat in has a metal holder, the veggie one is plastic. Both are the same size but the veggie one has a divider in the middle. So I filled the other crockpot with veggies and added a can of chicken broth so it wouldn’t burn. I added several small onions, 2 parsnips, 3 turnips, 1 rutabaga, 3 tiny Linda squash, 2 decent sized yellow squash, etc. Then I made my mashed potatoes. I don’t brag unless I know for a fact but these are the best mashed potatoes in the whole world and these are! I peel and quarter about 7-8 potatoes (at least 2 meals worth), boil and when done, drain and put on low heat to dry out. Add 1 8 oz. package cream cheese cut into 8 cubes, 3 heaping teaspoons minced garlic (I use the jarred garlic in liquid), a splash of milk and a hand potato masher. NO BUTTER or SOUR CREAM is needed. Mash and stir with a spoon to get mixed well. Add quite a bit of salt and some pepper. They are to die for. They need NO gravy. This is comfort food at its best. Each potato ends up with about 1 oz. of cream cheese. I let the port roast go about 8 hours because I don’t like it sliced, I like it shredded. I take it out and tent it in aluminum foil for 20 min. or so, then shred. Sometimes I add it back into the liquid when I cook it with veggies but usually just leave it on the platter. Then I put a portion of shredded pork on a plate, ladle the veggies and broth over it and place the mashed potatoes along side. We’ll probably get 4-5 meals out of it and still have meat left to use for tacos, burritos or barbeque pork sandwiches.

 

Amber with basketball

It’s been snowing since 11 am and it’s a blizzard out there. Hubby tells me I call every time it snows a blizzard. Only if I don’t want to go out in it! Today at 4:30 pm, instead of finishing this, I decided to go outside in the backyard with the dogs. I took pictures while they played in the snow. They just have the best time and it’s contagious! It did wonders for my mood. Amber had fun playing with the basketball in the snow while Ivy & Elvis roughhoused. They are the definition of “horseplay”. They knocked over the sunroom lamp and broke the shade today but I can’t be mad at them. They are DOGS. We need to follow their example and live life in the moment and enjoy whatever comes our way.

 

Ivy & Elvis roughhousing

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The LAST thing you would do

I just got done saying in my last post that I didn’t want this blog to be a place of heavy pain, serious subjects, etc and then I proceed to address suicide. Gah! I’m not going to throw statistics at you but most of us have had our lives impacted directly or indirectly by someone who chose to end their own life. I have spent a lot of time thinking about suicide. These are my feelings and observations, you may not agree with them. I’m not an expert nor do I pretend to be one. If anything I say offends or hurts anyone reading this, it’s entirely unintentional. I never thought I’d have to preface a post with that but I write from my heart and try to be careful with my words but still seem to make a select few unhappy.

 

Monday Jan. 28th marks the 6 year anniversary of my nephew committing suicide. Steve was 41 when he made his final dramatic exit from the world. Steve was 3 years younger than me. Due to our strange family dynamic, I became an aunt at birth. I was never called “Aunt” by any of my 11 nieces or nephews since I fell more easily into the cousin or playmate category. I only saw my half-sister Dianne’s brood at holidays and a few other times a year due to the fact that they lived a couple hours away in Minnesota. We would bundle up and make the 2 hour drive to their farm or more likely they would come to our little house in Eau Claire, WI. My mom would fix a big meal and I’d always have to sit at the kids’ table in the kitchen while the adults ate in the DR. Steve and his twin brother were my constant playmates when we were together. It was always like no time had passed since we’d seen each other and we talked incessantly, played countless board games, Barbies, school, house, dinosaurs, spacemen or played outside. They made the holidays tolerable for me. We basically grew up together. I remember Steve asking me when I was 11 and he was 8, “Why do you wear a bra?”. I had just got my first bra and was self-conscious about it. I didn’t know how to answer. I knew I could’ve explained the whole reason to him but instead I said, “Ask your mother.” For some reason I also remember him asking me “Why are you so fat?” and I think I answered the same way. It hurt my feelings but he was very outspoken and less shy than his brother. When I started collecting Wacky Packages, the twins wanted to collect them too.

 

Me and The Twins. Steve trying to be as tall as me.

When I received the news that Steve had committed suicide, I went into shock. It was all I could think of. It was surreal. I thought back to all the times we’d shared as children and there was no way to predict that he would be the one to do this. There is no way to make sense of suicide. There is no way to look at someone and know that they’re thinking of this. We can’t see  how fragile someone is or what burden they are carrying around. From what I heard from his mother and brother, he’d been battling depression and had been dealing with incredibly challenging situations. I hadn’t seen Steve since my father’s funeral many years before. I have to believe he knew how much he meant to me and how I treasured the fun times we shared when younger.

 

Steve’s 2nd grade school picture.

Suicide is not just for the lonely. Many people who make that fateful choice  have spouses, and children. They have good paying jobs, are well respected in their communities. They’re not failures, except maybe in their own eyes. I couldn’t fathom why Steve did this. He had more to live for than I do. He had a big, close family with a twin brother. He had 2 children and a wife. He had a fantastic job that paid well. He was good looking and funny. I have a husband but none of those other things. If he does that with that much going for him, what hope is there for me? His twin is an IT genius and put together a beautiful video montage of pictures of him throughout his life along with music. One of the songs played while the pictures flashed was “Smile though your heart is breaking”. Another was “The Valley Song” by Jars of Clay. Scott played it at the funeral and sent me a copy. I watched it over and over and over. I cried every time it started and by the end I was sobbing. It really broke my heart. He always looked so happy. Like he was having a good time and he had the world by the tail. I was griefstricken more than is normal. I was depressed thinking of a world that existed that he was not a part of. He had such a sensitive soul that could not thrive in a world this harsh. How did I finally stop crying? I quit watching the video. I still think of him but haven’t been able to get out the photo albums with the childhood photos of us to look at. Until now. I am going to include a few in this post.

 

Suicide is a moment of weakness. The God I choose to believe in does not call it a sin. He is understanding and will know what was in the person’s heart and if they were a good person. God doesn’t want people to be worrying about a deceased loved one going to hell. Suicide is simply a waste of potential and what’s left of a life unlived.

 

You can live to be 100 and only exist. Never making your mark on society or accomplishing anything major. You can live to a ripe old age and never put your heart out there. So just because someone commits suicide doesn’t mean they didn’t make a difference in our lives or the lives of others. They may have done more in their short(er) lives than someone living much longer. Not to make sweeping generalizations but those who kill themselves are often more sensitive than others and frequently smarter. The fact that they can’t see a solution to their problem, an end to their pain is a mistake. We make mistakes everyday. Some are bigger than others. Some can’t be undone. Suicide reinforces that the person was human and fallible. Maybe in our eyes they were Superhuman. Someone we loved, looked up to and admired. Forgive them for leaving us. Remember how they touched our lives. Remember how hearing the news of their tragic passing by their own hand impacted you. So that you can help others know there is nothing that can’t be solved together. No problem is too big if you have others to lean on.

 

I’m not trying to justify the irrationality of suicide. It doesn’t make you a hero to take your own life. It’s debatable if it makes you a coward. I haven’t touched on the anger and blame the survivors can experience or the tangible and non tangible mess the departing person leaves for the living to clean up. I feel like each of us are born a blank slate or an empty book. We are given the chance to fill our book with whatever is of our own choosing. Since we are given free will, we are also given the opportunity to end our story at any time. The fact that we choose to no longer get up every morning and see what the day has to offer is a choice. It’s probably not always a well informed choice, the decision can be tainted by physical or emotional pain, drugs or alcohol, horrific consequences of other poor choices we’ve made. The saddest thing about suicide is the story is over prematurely. None of us will ever know the true ending, what would have played out if leaving this world by their own devices wasn’t chosen.

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Small dog at large

Last week hubby was working later hours so we were able to take Elvis in to the vet together. It was for a routine vaccination but we finally got official confirmation that our baby boy is officially deaf. Not hard of hearing but stone deaf. We’ve had him for 13 months and for a large part of that we’ve had suspicions that he couldn’t hear. We didn’t want to believe it but now we know for sure. We’re not devastated or sad at this knowledge. He has adapted so well, he’s as good or better than any hearing dog we’ve ever had. His disposition is sweet as pie all the time. He is happy 100% of the time which isn’t the case for the average dog. He’s always joyful and gets along with every single person and dog he’s ever met. It makes me wonder if he has that personality because of being deaf or in spite of it. Back in March, we took him to the St. Patrick’s Parade in Erin, WI. We marveled at how he handled the crowds, other animals and noise so well. Now we know. Most dogs would’ve been overwhelmed by the crowding conditions and noise level. He did great!

 

Elvis has always wanted to be right next to me, he insists on sitting or laying next to me at all times. I just thought he was an especially loving little guy. Instead I figured out he does that so he knows when I move or leave. Even when I’m cooking in the kitchen, he likes to lay on my feet. When he barks, which isn’t often, his bark is so shrill, it’s almost ear piercing. He doesn’t realize how he sounds since he can’t hear himself. We’ve clapped behind his head, snapped our fingers, meowed, whistled and no reaction. He is very alert but only visually. If a light goes on upstairs, he looks up and may even go upstairs to see who’s up there. The other dogs pay no attention when lights are turned on. He is very hard to teach. I’ve tried getting him to shake hands which was always easy for all the other dogs to learn. I’ve tried several times a day with treats, without, etc. & he doesn’t catch on. We use hand signals with him and he will sit or lay but I think it’s more from mimicking the other dogs. I look back on how frustrated I was earlier this year with him. He knocks a lot of things over and has no idea since he can’t hear that something fell. I had so much trouble getting his attention and keeping his attention when taking pictures or trying to teach him tricks. Even now if he’s in the backyard, with his back to me, I can’t always get him back in the house. I call the other 2 and they come right away. If he sees them come in, he follows. If he’s looking at something on the ground or the neighbor’s dog is by the fence, he won’t come in. I have tried waving toys from on the deck, pounding on the window and deck railing and nothing. Now I have to walk out there and wave until he sees me, then he’ll come in.

 

Elvis follows the lead of the other dogs constantly. When they jump up, he jumps up. When they run to the door, he runs to the door. He gets along great with his 2 sisters and I bet they have no idea he can’t hear. I’m sure it doesn’t matter to them. Elvis wouldn’t make a very good watchdog since you have to touch him to wake him up. Sometimes when he’s sleeping hard, if you move and bump him slightly, he jumps up almost frantic. He looks side to side trying to figure out what’s happening. Amber (our Shiba Inu) is our watchdog so we’ve got that covered.

 

I think back on how he was a rescue dog and how lucky we are to have gotten him. If he had ended up with another family, they might not have kept him once they figured out he was deaf. He’s ours and we’ll keep him until his last breath or ours, whichever comes first. “Who rescued who?” is a decal I saw on a car while walking the dogs. It is so appropriate. We saved Elvis but he saved us too. The vet thinks he is part Dalmatian in addition to being a Jack Russell Terrier. Deafness seems to be most common in Dalmatians due to inbreeding. My mom is almost completely deaf. Since childhood she’s had profound hearing loss but was able to cope. Even working as a telephone operator which is an incredible feat. She didn’t start wearing hearing aids until she was about 71. They help her somewhat but she still misses a lot. She has relied on lip reading her whole life but as she’s gotten older she’s gradually losing that ability. It’s funny how life works out. Due to mom’s situation, we are more receptive to having a hearing impaired dog than someone else might be. All we can do is treat him like part of the family and love him unconditionally. 

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Up, Up and Away…NOT.

I left out so much from vacation and even now am going to quickly cover some of the things that happened. The first weekend we were in Mississippi (Nov.9-11), they had the First Annual Tunica Balloon Bash. It was hyped to the nines and we didn’t really know what to expect. Supposedly they were having 10 hot air balloons at 4 different locations (casinos) for a total of 40. They were having “balloon glows” on Friday & Sat. evenings for 2 hours. This is where they turn on the propane torches to light up the balloons while they are on the ground. It looks really cool! We were staying at Sam’s Town RV Park, across the street from Hollywood where they were hosting some of the balloons. Hubby and I walked the dogs over there and we both got some really good pictures and I put some of them on Instagram. They were supposed to be offering tethered rides on one of the balloons but it was too windy. This would turn out to be the case for the ENTIRE WEEKEND. It was basically a bust. Not only were there only about 4-5 balloons at each location, they seemed to be doing it half-heartedly. They didn’t even stay the whole 2 hours. The crowd seemed almost half-hearted about it too. There was a fairly long line for rides and when they announced it was too windy, people just dispersed and lost all interest. I wasn’t particularly excited about the whole thing ahead of time but being that close to them in person piqued my interest. I figured it was no big deal but after seeing how hard it was to control the balloons in the wind, it looked quite scary to me! I would be afraid to go up in one unless it was completely calm. Even then, I don’t know if I’ll ever have the opportunity again unless I seek it out. We drove over to the other casinos to see what they had going on for the balloon glow and it was even less! Either that or they’d packed up early.

 

There was supposed to be a balloon race on both Sat. & Sun. mornings and hubby and I actually got up at 7 am and went out to the location of the start of the race (Tunica National Golf Course). We took the dogs with us in the car over there and everybody was just standing around outside. Finally around 8 am, we asked one of the guys (Dan) who was heading to his truck and he said it was cancelled due to the wind. We didn’t bother going on Sun. morning but heard it was the same situation again. How disappointed the balloonists must’ve been! They had to bring their baskets and gear, only to not even use it. Sidenote: I would never be able to fold up one of those balloons after inflation. I can’t even get something back in the original box once I’ve taken it out. This Dan we met was one of the most friendly people we’ve encountered in the south. His father is a hot air balloon pilot and he’d come along. He does barge maintenance and repair. He’s the first one I met in that line of work. Anyway, he knew what a Basenji was (which is what our dog Ivy is) so that got the conversation going. Then we got to talking about other things in the area, etc. He gave us a business card and told us to call him that night about the balloon glow and that’s when we found out that it was too windy again. All in all, it was a creative idea and I can see the casinos and tourism put a lot of money into it. I would’ve liked to get one of the t-shirts but didn’t see them for sale anywhere! I’ll be curious to see if they try it again next year or nix it entirely. If it wasn’t for the wind, the temperatures were a perfect 72 degrees. If it’d been scheduled for the following weekend, it would’ve been in the mid-40′s!

 

This wasn’t the biggest disappointment while we were there. Saturday Nov. 10th there was a Chili Cookoff at Sam’s Town Casino sanctioned by whoever sanctions those things. It was supposed to be from 8 am until 5 pm. Every Sat. Hollywood has a breakfast buffet (the best around) for 77 cents (comp dollars). We were debating whether to skip it and go early for the cookoff. Who eats chili at 8 am?? Unless you’re working nights, that I can totally see. Instead we decided to go to the buffet early and then head over at 4 pm and still get an hour in at the cookoff. We got there and they were packing up!! It was $2 for all the samples you wanted. They woudn’t even take our money, and told us to go around and see if anyone had any left. We got 2 samples, one without beans (which to me is like gravy) and the other was stone cold. Blech! Hubby had been dreaming of this for weeks. That is one of my pet peeves that things are written/advertised everywhere that it goes until 5 pm and they don’t even stick to it. Maybe it’s our fault for coming at the tail end. This wasn’t 4:45 pm, it was exactly 4 pm. Also we noted how unfriendly a lot of these types of group activities are. The ones entering the contest don’t try to be friendly to patrons, they would rather be downright rude and carry on conversations with their competition. I’ve seen this at anything we go to where we are “outsiders”. Like a dog club activity. We aren’t members but the woman we got Ivy from has invited us to a few things. We went twice and you get there and if you don’t go up to talk to people, no one will approach you and welcome you. For goodness sake! I am not that way. I like to make others feel welcome and can’t stand to see anyone on the sidelines. In the past when we went to some parties for Greg’s work, if someone was a table alone while everyone else was playing darts or some game, I’d be the first to go up to them and chat. I’m sure the alcohol had something to do with it but it’s still in my nature.

 

Other notable things that happened on vacation? I was cleaning the wax out of the tube of one of Mom’s hearing aids with a toothpick and it broke off. Gah! I tried pushing it through with another toothpick and it broke off on top of the other one. No budging it. I panicked at first, then sat down and tried everything until I fixed it. I took the tube out of the aid and manipulated it with a fingernail until I worked it out. Crisis averted.

 

Before vacation my watch band broke. My other watch had a dead battery. So I was wearing Greg’s huge watch (he has 3). I didn’t even care how it looked but while I had the time on vacation, we went to the outlet mall and I got a new battery for the one and a band for the other. There’s a collectibles shop there that has an owner that looks like Santa. He’s always helpful and nice as can be. So put that experience in the plus column

 

The zipper on my silver grey Gloria Vanderbilt (my fave pants brand ever) pants broke. I’ve only worn them a handful of times. I was “saving” them for vacation. I don’t think they can be fixed. It wouldn’t be worth it to spend $10 to get them fixed when I think I paid $20 for them on sale.

 

We got a dehydrator at the same outlet mall. We love the Kitchen Collection store there and always find something cool there. We’d been talking about dehydrating fruit, veggies and meat since getting a ton of beef jerky when we were in Michigan a few months ago. The one we got is a Presto which is made in my hometown of Eau Claire, WI. How ironic. This weekend I’ll get over to the library for a book of recipes so we can try it out. I especially want to do pineapple, bananas and papayas.

 

I’d add pictures to this post if it wouldn’t take me like 2 hours to do it. I just don’t have the time to spare right now. Thanks for hanging with me when I’ve been so scarce on here. BTW, I do realize I said “supposed to be” about a million times in this. “The best laid plans of mice and men” and all that jazz. What kind of plans do mice make, exactly? Bring on the cheese.

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Gobble, Gobble…Oink!

I’m squeezing in a quick post before anymore time passes. We got home from our incredible Thanksgiving vacation in Tunica, MS on Friday night at 7 pm. We’ve been on the go ever since trying to do all of the things left undone before we left and trying to catch up with everything else we missed while gone. It’s exhausting. Enough to make us need another vacation! Luckily that will be happening soon enough.

 

We’ve been going to the gambling mecca of the Mid-South since Nov. 1998 and have always had a wonderful time. We have to pay gas roundtrip for 600+ miles for the RV and whatever money we decide to gamble with. All of our nights in the RV park are comped (free) and so are our meals! It’s a wonder we go anywhere else. There are so many buffets to be had and we limit ourselves to one a day. OINK! They aren’t just buffets but a veritable food lovers paradise with gourmet foods, seafood, ethnic delicacies, etc. Something for every taste and palate. Unlike my mom and husband, I am not a huge meat eater. I might try a small portion but I founder myself at the salad bar and am thrilled to try soups of every possible type. This trip was the first time I tried egg drop soup and I loved it. I had it 3 times and it was delicious. My plate ends up looking white when I load it up. I told my hubby, I only seem to eat potatoes, bread and pasta. He reminded me I also love “anything covered in cheese”. I was carb loading like I was going to run several marathons. I’m also not a dessert person when I go out. I love homemade goodies but most of the buffets have nothing that rivals my own dessert creations so I’d rather pass. There was one place (Hollywood casino) that had peanut butter pie to die for! They also had cheese grits, bowtie pasta with chicken, bacon and blue cheese sauce. Gah! I could go on but I don’t want to torture anybody.

 

It was a very relaxing time. I packed a bookbag with 5 books that my friend Karen had sent me and some magazines. I love reading in bed but don’t usually do it except on vacation. I was really looking forward to it so I promptly forgot the bag at home. Boo! I had a couple free books on hubby’s ipad2 that I read but it wasn’t the same. I would’ve killed to have a couple magazines but can’t justify buying any (or any books) when I have plenty at home to read.

 

I had to buy my first package of adult diapers. (Not for me.) This was the first trip that Mom’s noticeably been worse. I had to pack for her and lay her clothes out. She’s not able to do things that she was just able to do a few months ago. She can’t sign her name well or cut her meat well. It is sad to me plus she’s not nearly as engaged or verbal as she used to be. We are going to keep travelling with her as long as we can. I hate when she can’t remember places we’ve been or things she’s done before. It’s taking a toll on me but I’m doing the best I can. When that movie “50 First Dates” came out, everyone loved it. I hated it immediately and will never watch it again. It was so sad, not a comedy to me in any way. To lose your memories has to be one of the most awful things in life. Hubby & I joke about us having Alzheimers’ since we can’t remember if we’ve seen a certain movie before or not. That all you need is one movie and every time you watch it, it’s like you’ve never seen it before. I think the worst part is I’m afraid I’m looking at my own future. There’s a good chance I’ll be the same way as she is, possibly even sooner than she was. I don’t have a daughter or anyone else to look after me….

 

Since we got home so late Friday, stupid cars were parked in front of our house. We couldn’t park the RV there, even for a few hours. We had to go around the corner and hubby had to disconnect the Jeep from the Blue Ox towing device and drive our stuff we had packed into the truck home. It went fairly smoothly otherwise. This is the first year Illinois has had a 65 mph speed limit on I-57 for trucks and recreational vehicles. For years, cars had a 65 mph speed limit and the others were restricted to 55 mph. I’m not much of a speed demon since I’m too afraid of getting tickets so I’d go 62 at most. Now with the 65 mph speed limit, I go 69-70. Just that 5 extra miles per hour adds up.

 

Anyway, I got on here specifically to talk about my town going downhill just since we left. Hubby ordered a pizza (with coupon) from Nancy’s Pizza on the south side of Park Ridge Friday night. He went to pick up a gallon of milk on the way to pick up the pizza. When he left Dominick’s parking lot, a couple (man & woman in mid-40′s) approached him. The man said he lived in an apt. in Des Plaines, IL and his roommate was drunk and hitting on his girlfriend. He wanted Greg to help them get a motel room down the street. Hubby was being funny and said he would call the cops to have them arrest his roommate. The guy said no, he didn’t want that. He just wanted Greg to get him a room. Greg said no and left.

 

On Sat. we were at Jewel getting a few odds and ends. It’s 9 blocks away so we go there often. A sketchy looking guy in his 20′s came up to us and asked for $2 to get his medication. He had a whole story memorized about how he’s not a bum, just is short of money for his meds. Hubby said no. Then we saw him approach at least 5 other people!! It totally skeeved me out. We joked that if we went around getting $2 from each person, we could get such and such in our cart for free. We should have taken him over to the pharmacy and found out if the story was true and what meds he was on (or off). All I can think of is that Park Ridge used to be one of the nicer suburbs in the Chicago area. It was somewhat affluent but not where the richest live like Lake Forest or Glencoe or even Winnetka. But it is a huge step up to me from even the neighboring towns of Niles and Des Plaines. At least it used to be. Now panhandling has come to nicer establishments and even inside. I give to charities when and where I can and don’t like to be solicited in any way, shape or form. But to have someone opening trying to scam us, makes me wonder what the world is coming to.

 

At Jewel, since Thanksgiving had passed, they had turkeys for 39 cents/ lb.!! To me, it tastes good anytime, not just on that day. So we got an 18.5 lb. turkey (that was the smallest) for $7.23 and I’m fixing it tonight. We’ll be freezing some and eating on the rest for awhile. I’d only ever made around 12-13 lb. turkeys before and this one barely fit in the pan! It’s ginormous! So I’ve got to get back to making mashed potatoes and everything else that goes with it. Such a busy time. I started the laundry but there’s so much, there really is no end in sight. Tomorrow I take Mom to the ENT doctor to have the wax removed from her ears. Hopefully, I’ll get back online to write a blog post soon. So much to say, so little time!

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Mom’s The Word

On April 23rd my mom turned 91. It boggles the mind. Before you start wondering if I’m in my 70′s, I will confess that I’m still in my 40′s and leave it at that. I’ve been thinking of writing a post about my mom for a long time. I started one before her birthday and then was going to finish it by Mother’s Day. Here it is mid-July so I figured I better hurry up. This isn’t anything she’ll ever read so I’m not doing it to butter her up. This is just my way of honoring her as she hits another milestone.

 

As a little kid, I always told my mom she was the best mom in the whole world. Maybe all kids do this. In my case, it was true. Even better, it still holds true. I know what it’s like to not have the kind of relationship you want with a parent (I had that with my dad) so it means the world to me that my relationship with my mom is perfect. Obviously, nothing in life is perfect but this is as close as it gets. It’s not even that we’re so much alike. She’s born in April like my husband and I think they’re more alike than she and I. It is that we have always loved each other and put each other first.

 

We have little sayings we say to each other: “I love you today” and the other will say “I love you yesterday”, “I love you next week”, etc. Another is “You’ve got so many nice things” and the other will say, “I’ve got you!”. Corny and sappy but I love them. My mom has lived with me since she got divorced from my dad while I was in college. After I got married, she lived with us as well. Yes, my husband must be a saint to have his mother-in-law live here. She worked 35+ years as a long distance operator at AT&T. I look forward to waking her up every morning and giving her a hug. I know how blessed I am to still have my mother living and present in my life. I know how lucky I am that I got a mother who knew how to cook and bake, sew, drive, fish, grow plants, craft, gamble, travel, make people laugh, shop, fight, etc. and taught me how to do most of it as well.

 

Everyone who meets my mom says she’s a real character. She has a unique sense of  humor and people wouldn’t know if she was joking or not. She could make just about anyone laugh. Since she was in her 40′s when I was born, I didn’t have grandparents to be around. Both my grandfathers died before I was born and my mom’s mom lived in MN and died when I was 5. My dad’s mom lived to be 93 and I was 9 when she passed away in a nursing home. My mom says when I was a baby, people would tell her her granddaughter was beautiful. Besides being mother and father to me (yes, I had a father), she was a grandma to me too. She did so many nice things for me as a kid, I can’t even begin to recall all of them. The best thing I remember her doing was listening to me. I was one of those kids that talks non-stop. I was always filled with questions and was constantly analyzing everything. She listened to me and didn’t just pretend to listen. I was an overly sensitive kid and she was able to empathize which meant the world to me.

 

My mom taught me right from wrong. She believed in discipline and I knew I’d get a spanking with the yardstick if I misbehaved. I was mostly a good kid since I had so many examples of how not to be from my half-siblings. After seeing how awful the step children treated her, I knew from an early age I would never marry a man that had kids from a previous marriage.

 

My mom was raised on a farm and believed in hard work. She was a superhero to me because I was always in awe at everything she could do. Besides working full time, she washed clothes, cooked and cleaned for our family which included the youngest 3 of the 4 step kids, my dad and me. She managed to bake pies and other desserts from scratch, host holidays and birthday parties at our house. She was the best cook and loves food as much as I do. She is where I get my love of recipes from. She loves looking through magazines and cookbooks and trying new recipes as much as I do. She used to make me sit at the table until I cleaned my plate. That could be hours or maybe it just seemed like hours! I hated lima beans (which taste like soapsuds), liver and some fish. I’ve learned to like fish but still not the other 2.

 

My dad owned 2 rental properties. One was next door in the building that used to be my grandparents’ corner grocery store. It was converted into an upper and lower apartment. The other was an old fancy house near the UW-Eau Claire. I used to want us to live there because it was in a much nicer neighborhood and used to be where a rich family lived. It had many rooms with amenities like pocket doors and gorgeous woodwork and a servants’ stairway in back. That was converted into a multi-room house for college students. In any case there was always a ton of work to be done on both places. Cleaning, remodeling, painting, installing floor tiles, yardwork, etc. My mom pitched in like a trooper and did most of it. She taught me how to paint and I ended up doing most of the painting which I loved. To this day I still love painting but only if someone sets me up with the tarps and ladder and cleans my brushes afterwards. I’ve got my husband to take over that role now.

 

It wasn’t until I was an adult, age 25, that I started standing up for myself. Even then it’s been a work in progress. Learning to speak up and not be taken advantage of is a hard lesson to learn. I was extremely shy as a kid. I didn’t even want to go up to the counter at McDonald’s and ask for a spoon. I still don’t but I’ll do it now. I watched my mom have no problem defending herself or me and calling people out on their bullshit. Over time I have become her in this respect and I’m proud that I have. Unless you stand up for yourself, you walk around feeling powerless and used.

 

I have invested all my time, energy, emotions, love into only 2 relationships. The one with my mother and the one with my husband. To the detriment of all other relationships. I did this for 2 reasons, besides them being the 2 most important people to me, I didn’t want to ever say or think that I didn’t do enough for them. That I didn’t spend enough time with them or love them enough. Or tell them I loved them everyday. I do all of those things and it has made the relationships the most rewarding I could possibly have.

 

My mom and I have done crazy things together like spending the night in the Greyhound bus station in downtown Milwaukee. We had taken the bus from Madison (where we were living) to Milwaukee to go to the Safehouse bar and missed the last bus.

 

We’ve talked ourselves blue in the face over pitchers of beer at the KK Club (a college bar below where we lived in Madison).

 

We’ve walked up and down State Street in Madison on Halloween back in the early ’80′s. Wall to wall people, mostly drunken college students. Being swept along by a sea of crazies and laughing until our mouths were sore.

 

We’ve taken our first and last cruise to the Carribean together. Shared hatred equals another blog post at a future date.

 

We’ve driven up to Bayfield, WI and the Apostle Islands and on a another trip went to Door County and picked cherries.

 

We’ve done so many things together and when my future mate came along, we went off on our own adventures for a few years until we married and then started bringing Mom everywhere we went like she’s our child. I wouldn’t have it any other way. They say you can’t or shouldn’t be friends with your child. I agree but only until the child reaches 18, then you can be both parent and friend. My mom is the friend I was born with. Yes, I know how fortunate I am and I’ll never forget it.

 

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Frustration Level To The Moon

I seem to live my life nearly frantic. It always feels like it’s spiraling out of control and I feel powerless. Adding the 3rd dog (Puppy Elvis) to the household has seemed to backfire. Hubby was gone for 8 nights (9 days) to Oklahoma City the end of last month. Singlehandedly, I had the responsibility of him 24/7 for 9 days without a break. If this was a test, I failed miserably. Sure, I survived but I was unable to get what I wanted to accomplish done or even relax and unwind. My frustration level has been to the moon. You could even say I’m an astronaut because I’ve been there more than once.

 

Obviously, I’ve dealt with puppies before (this is my 5th as an adult) and even a Jack Russell Terrier once before. I don’t know if it’s the fact there are now 3 canines to contend with or if it is me and my nerves/emotional state. I seem to be on edge constantly, no patience with the worst temper I’ve ever had in my life. I have to keep telling myself that Elvis will grow out of this puppyhood and be as good a dog as the other 2. They’re not perfect and still get into things at times but for the most part are wonderful. I’ve spent a lot of time working with them. It’s very hard working with Elvis when he seems to have no attention span at all and Amber and Ivy keep trying to get in on whatever I’m trying to teach him.

 

We have doggy gates for the kitchen, one blocking the stairs to the basement and one from the kitchen into the dining room. The barriers couldn’t even contain Elvis for a day. He was climbing up and over, repeatedly. We’ve been feeding Elvis his puppy food in the kitchen and the other 2 have their bowls and water in the dining room. Our vet is always incredulous that they eat together out of the same bowl. Amber and Ivy have always gotten along well but since Elvis showed up, they don’t fight at all anymore. It seems to have bonded them together. So aside from putting Elvis in his wire cage, he’s with me every second. Following me around, sitting on my lap or he’s into trouble. I can’t stand putting him in his cage and use it as a last resort because he chirps so loud, it hurts my ears. Our other dogs have crates they go in to sleep at night and we want to get Elvis trained to sleep in his but that hasn’t worked out.

 

We took him on vacation with us in the RV less than a week after we got him. The other dogs are well-behaved enough to sleep loose in the RV (no room for cages anyway) and Elvis slept with us. Now trying to break him of it will result in us not getting sleep for how many nights?! So we are waiting until everything else in life settles down before attempting the sleep deprivation.

 

We got Elvis neutered the beginning of last month and it was nearly impossible to keep him down for 10 days. We did well to make it a week. He wasn’t allowed to go on walks with the other dogs, no running or jumping, etc. No wonder my nerves are shot. He was on the leash for a week and never left my side. At least that’s over with but it felt like an eternity. 2012 has been one rough year already.

 

When hubby was gone, I started questioning if we did the right thing by getting Elvis. He has pushed me past my limit so many times and I don’t like the things I am feeling. Even though I don’t have kids, I can imagine I’m having a lot of the same feelings as a mother of small children.

 

Elvis loves to grab the other dogs’ leashes in his mouth and carry them around. With them on the other end. When I try to get them all leashed up to go on the daily walk, he grabs them and pulls them all over. He wrapped it all around Amber’s legs which gets her so angry and upset. I keep hoping that in a few months things will be better around here. In the meantime, I’m making it through one day at a time…and using Twitter as stress relief. :-0

 

As I was posting this, Elvis climbed into the laundry basket of clean towels and laid down for a nap…lucky for him he’s so cute.

 

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